THREE TIPS FOR DEALING WITH REJECTION IN WRITING AND LIFE

Contrary to what our feelings tell us, rejection is a valuable gift.
I know it doesn’t feel like it when you are in the thick of it. If you can step back and look at the rejection from the outside, you will realize you've been given something both necessary and actionable. Here are three tips for transforming your rejections into golden opportunities both in your writing and your life.

1. Focus on the Positives
The silver linings are there if you will look for them. This goes against our nature. We would wallow in the misery of the moment, maybe even look for a dose of sympathy, rather than put on our big kid pants and find that positive message. I know the gut-wrenching feeling of putting my hopes in a submission and having it dashed with a three or four line form response. But look for positive. Not always, not even mostly, but sometimes within the rejection, you will find that glimmer. Here’s one I received.

“While I enjoyed some parts, it didn't hook me as much as I wanted it to. I am going to have to pass.”

​I could moan and take it personally. But even though they rejected me, I was paid a compliment. They enjoyed some parts. That means I got some of it right. I’m not a total failure! At the very least, I'm doing something to which people are paying attention.  That's positive and that gives me hope.


2. Learn from the Negatives
We take rejection personally. It’s hard not to do, but there is a better way. Take the rejection instructively. I once had an agent write back and tell me this. 

“While your story work is certainly exciting and your narrative is compelling, the characters get lost and do not stand out within it.”

Thank you! I just learned something about myself and my writing. I now have something to work on. That leads us to…


3. Channel Both Positives and Negatives into Forward Action
So what do you do when you are rejected? You take what you’ve learned and apply it. As in the example above, you take another look at your writing and figure out a way to make the characters stand out. The next manuscript you work on you will put extra effort into your weak areas. In other words, you'll GROW!

Next time you face rejection, take these three tips and see what exciting things come out of it!


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